Moments Lost

The first time you hurt someone and like it

The first time you steal and cheat and win

The first time you love someone and hide it

Can time alone corrupt you from within?

The hundredth time you wallow in your vices

The hundredth time your bottle numbs the pain

The hundredth time you see what hate entices

Will all your struggles forever be in vain?

The only time you ever lose your god

The only time your worldview falls apart

The only time you face a firing squad

Are some things dead before they ever start?

The last time your hands ran through her curls

The last time you touched her freckled skin

The last time you cared about this world

Are all those moments losthave never been?


(Munich, November & December 2018)